Tag Archives: Health

Miscellaneous Ain’t No River In Egypt

A few things.  One, I know you’ve been totally dying to hear about my YouTube progress, mentioned in that blog I did about dogs back in May.  I’m happy to report that because of my diligent tagging and keyword use, my views have gone from a measly 6 views to a whopping 17 views!  Good job, everybody!

Sarcasm.  It’s what’s for breakfast.

In other news, I recently went to the beach.  That is usually good news, but for somebody with psoriasis, it’s great news.  The sun and the sand, combined with the salt water act as some amazing healing thing that makes me much better.  I want to live there.  I realize that in the grand scheme of beaches that Virginia Beach is, like, pretty lame, but it’s close by to friends and family and blah blah blah don’t judge me.

That’s all for now.  Meh.

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Old Blog Posts – Maggots and Improv Comedy

This is a myspace blog post from June 22, 2006.  I still think maggots are nasty.  In fact, I am uncomfortable every time I see a fly in the house, because I am sure it will lay some eggs someplace and there will be maggots.

I was just watching an episode of “Who’s Line Is It Anyway?” and it was that bit when there is a green screen with one of the guys standing in front of it and there is something going on behind them but they can’t see it–they have to guess what is going on based on the other actor’s clues and the audience response.  Colin Mockery was up there with maggots behind him, and he guessed it correctly!

This is because maggots are the grossest ever.  He guessed maggots because nothing could have been that universally nasty.

maggots and worms

I had this apartment on Floyd Avenue, and it was on the second floor.  Sometimes I’d put my trash out on the back deck, and when it piled up I’d go out back, position the trash can under the deck, and then go back upstairs and toss the bags of garbage into the trash can below.

Once time I went out there to check the level of trash, and I noticed some pink and naked squirmies beside a partially open bag of trash.  Augh!  Maggots!  I already had a fear of these guys, as I had an apartment on Vine St. with the same sort of trash situation, and I was really depressed and REALLY let the trash pile up.  Maggots.  But the trash out back of the Floyd apartment was only about a day old.  It was hot outside, and there were steak bits in the trash, so…Maggots.

The particular incident on Floyd Avenue happened while is was on the phone with a friend.  I was giriping and squealing about the maggoty maggots,and my friend (Curtis) said, “Why would you be afraid of maggots?  They’re just fly puppies.”

Brilliant.  This did nothing to cure me of my disgust regarding maggots, but it locked in the certainty that if I ever belong to another band, it will be called Fly Puppies.

Maggots are so gross.  I know that they do have some medicinal value, in that they only eat dead flesh.  So, if you’ve got some nasty infected wound, maggots are your friend, as they will eat all the infected dead stuff, and leave your healing, not rotting skin alone.  Great.  Can you imagine what that feels like?  Maggoty maggots squirming inside your infected ankle wound?  I mean, really.  I hate antibiotics as much as the next person, but I DO have an ickiness threshold.  I really do.

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I Have No Excuse – Also, My Opinion on That “Kid Stuck Behind The Couch” Video

I have no excuse as to why it has been so long since I’ve updated my poor, neglected blog.  Maybe it was the 20-plus page papers I had to write to finish out my first semester of graduate school.  Maybe it is the entire month’s worth of work that I neglected while I was writing said papers.  Maybe it’s because I have felt VERY uninteresting lately and haven’t wanted to bore you.

Obviously I have gotten over the last one.

As a writer, I prowl around the internet looking for interesting things to write about.  Aol is a surprisingly great source for some of the blogs I write for, as well as some entertaining nonsense that amuses me.  I ran across this opinion piece and figured you shouldn’t be deprived of MY opinion on the subject.

So there’s been this video zinging around the internet of a little kid who is stuck behind the family couch.  This article that I linked to above denounces the parents in the video for recording their kid’s discomfort for a few minutes before getting him out from behind the couch.  If that’s not bad enough, between the crazy amount of spam comments on the post, there are people sniping back and forth about how this is “child abuse” and one person even shares their personal tragedy of their parents taking a picture of them when they had bad poison ivy.  Others talk about how “real” fear involves the child being beaten, and that people really need to find a better way to spend their time than denouncing some parents who want to share a cute family moment with the entire world-wide internet.

Here is the video.  See for yourself.

I realize that I promised to share MY opinion on the subject – something well within my rights since this is, after all, my blog.  The problem is that people are so lame and stupid that it practically takes all the fight out of me.  It makes me want to throw up my hands and burrow down into the couch cushions.  Do I think it’s OK for people to put their personal family videos on the internet?  Yeah.  That’s kind of their prerogative.  Do I think that they have a right to put videos of their kids on the internet?  Again, that is their prerogative, as long as it is wholesome and all that.  Some of my favorite stuff on the internet involves cute kids saying cute things or cute cats with stupid captions.  In that way I am like 90% of the internet population.

So, sorry about me.  I don’t think the kid in the video above is in real distress.  I don’t think he’ll be traumatized by this event, nor do I think that his parents are bad parents for pausing to record a funny moment with their kid and to teach him to tell the truth when he gets into a sticky situation.

That’s what I think, Folks.  What do you think?

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