Monthly Archives: May 2010

Blogging, Pets

Sometimes About Dogs – Everybody Loves Dogs, Except People Who Don’t Like Dogs

1 Comment

So, the internet is all crazy about dogs, right?  I mean, post a video of a dog and you’re, like, getting eight thousand YouTube comments a day.  Or so I hear.  Some of the YouTube videos I’ve posted are one of a contractor drilling in my front yard, a crappily-taken video of Lily Scott’s version of “Fixing A Hole,” and the Ukrop family announcing the sale of Ukrops to Ahold Company.

I’ve learned a lot about things called “keywords” lately.  I posted these two videos of my dogs, but I named them “Jake and Bailey Playing,” and “Jake and Bailey Playing With The Circle Toy.”  The deal with these “keywords” is that they are the words people use to search for stuff.  So, if someone was looking for a dog playing with a toy, they wouldn’t know to type “Jake” or “Bailey” or “Circle Toy” into YouTube’s search field.  That is why the videos have only been viewed 9 times, and that has all been by me.

I’m trying an experiment, and you can totally go down this road with me!  Aren’t you so glad and excited that I’m willing to share my internet experiences with you guys?  Aren’t you also so glad that I wait seven or eight years to jump on any new internet trend?  OK, maybe not that long, but I am kind of a late bloomer.  Or lazy.  Maybe I’m just lazy.

I’ve “beefed up” the YouTube post.  I changed the title to “Dogs Playing” and I put in a description.  Granted, in the description I ramble on a bit about the fact that the dogs keep murdering squirrels, but I guess some description is better than no description, you know what I mean?  I also added something called “Tags.”  Tags are like keywords in that they make your post show up because it has those words associated with it.

**You do realize that I’m over-simplifying keywords and tags and stuff because you guys already know this and so do I because I work with an SEO Company, right?  OK.  Glad we got that cleared up.

I’ll keep you posted as to the progress.  I’m assuming the amount of viewings my video receives from this site won’t skew the results so much, because traffic here is small, yet greatly appreciated.  I know you can’t wait to see what happens!

So that you don’t feel totally cheated, here are some pictures of my dogs.  My cute dogs.  My funny dogs.  My cute, funny dogs.

You Shouldn't Be Deprived of my Past Witticisms

Old Blog Posts – Maggots and Improv Comedy

1 Comment

This is a myspace blog post from June 22, 2006.  I still think maggots are nasty.  In fact, I am uncomfortable every time I see a fly in the house, because I am sure it will lay some eggs someplace and there will be maggots.

I was just watching an episode of “Who’s Line Is It Anyway?” and it was that bit when there is a green screen with one of the guys standing in front of it and there is something going on behind them but they can’t see it–they have to guess what is going on based on the other actor’s clues and the audience response.  Colin Mockery was up there with maggots behind him, and he guessed it correctly!

This is because maggots are the grossest ever.  He guessed maggots because nothing could have been that universally nasty.

maggots and worms

I had this apartment on Floyd Avenue, and it was on the second floor.  Sometimes I’d put my trash out on the back deck, and when it piled up I’d go out back, position the trash can under the deck, and then go back upstairs and toss the bags of garbage into the trash can below.

Once time I went out there to check the level of trash, and I noticed some pink and naked squirmies beside a partially open bag of trash.  Augh!  Maggots!  I already had a fear of these guys, as I had an apartment on Vine St. with the same sort of trash situation, and I was really depressed and REALLY let the trash pile up.  Maggots.  But the trash out back of the Floyd apartment was only about a day old.  It was hot outside, and there were steak bits in the trash, so…Maggots.

The particular incident on Floyd Avenue happened while is was on the phone with a friend.  I was giriping and squealing about the maggoty maggots,and my friend (Curtis) said, “Why would you be afraid of maggots?  They’re just fly puppies.”

Brilliant.  This did nothing to cure me of my disgust regarding maggots, but it locked in the certainty that if I ever belong to another band, it will be called Fly Puppies.

Maggots are so gross.  I know that they do have some medicinal value, in that they only eat dead flesh.  So, if you’ve got some nasty infected wound, maggots are your friend, as they will eat all the infected dead stuff, and leave your healing, not rotting skin alone.  Great.  Can you imagine what that feels like?  Maggoty maggots squirming inside your infected ankle wound?  I mean, really.  I hate antibiotics as much as the next person, but I DO have an ickiness threshold.  I really do.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Travel

A Trip to Our Nation’s Captial

2 Comments

In April the Hubs, The Mom and I went up to NOVA to visit my Dad, who lives there three days on (and here three days off) because he’s in the Army.  I’m writing a book about that last part.  You can read it when I’m done.  So, we took the train up, stayed in Dad’s tiny apartment, and got up and went to DC the next day.  I was very keen on going to the Museum of Natural History, because I hadn’t been there in a gazillion years.  It was kind of a let-down.  There were all these exhibits with dates on them, right?  But then there is this sign that basically says to take all those really old plant life exhibits with a grain of salt, because where they said 44 million years ago it might have only been, like 6 million years ago or something.  You’re the Smithsonian, Dudes!  Fix it!

Anywhoo, here are some pictures I took.  This is a pictorial for you.

I took this artistic photo of The Hubs while we were all on the Metro.
Waiting outside of the Natural History Museum, I took a picture of the base of one of the lights outside. Here is that picture.
Well, Jerry, since you raised your hand so nicely you can have the next cookie.
Dude, you missed one.
The only cherry blossoms we saw during the cherry blossom festival - a rainstorm wiped them all out.
Here Fishy Fishy Fishy
I had to elbow thirteen old ladies and small children out of the way so that my mom could snap this picture.
and then we figured out how the zoom feature works....
The Muslim/Celtic/Parade-Was-Over-But-They-Kept-Going Bagpiping Band
The Balloon Man in Olde Towne (?) Alexandria
Take heed.
At the Torpedo Factory. Hanging out with the torpedo.
Art.
Like you do.
Avast!
Making friends wherever I go...
Sadly, I was not recruited.
The Fam Damily.

So there you have it, our trip to Washington, D.C. and Old Town Alexandria.  It was a fun trip.  There were other things that I didn’t take a picture of, and even things that I took a picture of but did not put into my post, either because I looked really fat or because I would get fussed at for putting them on my blog.  I hate getting fussed at.

Stay tuned for more adventures.  I read somewhere that you needed to post something every thirty days or you aren’t “viable” and you know me.  I like to be viable.  I’m working on some other neat things, so get ready for a different type of bloggy goodness in the coming weeks.

Oh, and I hated Avatar.  So there.