Tag Archives: Television

Life As We Know It

It’s really easy to get caught up in your everyday life and ignore what’s going on around you in the world.  For instance, while I’m busy commissioning posts about foreign poker sites and how to get started in your underwater basket-weaving venture, people I know are actually trying to make a difference in all this economic mess.  And I feel guilty.

I mean, I have a job to do.  And, I’m trying to do other things to help secure my future – even if those things include live-blogging a reality tv program (new post on that to follow) and co-writing a book about smoothies.  Smoothies are good, right?  Tasty.  But I feel guilty that I’m not doing more to help out fellow people in need, to spread the word about the injustices that go on in the world, and to basically make my opinion known.

The thing is, I haven’t had time to form an opinion.  What kind of person does that make me?  I can tell you every ingredient that is supposed to go into a smoothie, I can summarize Simon Cowell’s entire career to date, I know everything about J.D. Salinger, and I can wax poetic about clever Tumblr accounts, but I can’t speak with authority or insight on many of the problems that face our country and our world today.

So that stops now.  Starting now I get educated.  I won’t be turning this blog into a political blog.  Nope, I’ll still be blogging about Jeremy Sisto’s creepiness and my excessive love for monkeys here.  But soon I’ll be starting a new site that is open to all.  A place where I’ll post reputable information and allow a dialog between people who care and want to make a difference.

It’s the least…the very least…I can do.

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Because I REALLY Understand Anthropology

So, I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.  Trying to work, write a thesis, and take two classes while being nice enough and engaged enough as to not alienate my loved ones is super hard, and I don’t deal with stress all that well.  Sometimes I “zone out” and think about things unrelated to finances, work, and school.  (And by “zone out” I mean “drink a lot of pinot noir and think sloppy but interesting thoughts).  I found the following note on my computer the other morning:

If a sterotype exists, it exists for a reason.If a ritual is particular attractive to a large amount of people, many people are attracted to it for reason.That is why reality television works.
Top 10 Reality Shows of all Time
Note about Bones – it is possible that you hear a certain identifier to a particular subculture, it is possible that Brennan would have called the Jersey Shore-type people “Guidos.”
But the black murder suspect at the end saying that all the Jersey Shore guys look alike is beyond the pale.

bones guido

This is obviously based on the “Guido” episode of Bones, which TNT or USA or one of those has been showing about every hour of every day for the last month or so.  I keep the TV on while I work, most of the time, because it keeps me company.  I think I was trying to explain to myself why someone as supposedly as smart as Dr. Brennan would act the way she did about the Jersey Shore-type people, and I was trying to find an ANTHROPOLOGICAL reason for her dippy attitude.

That same night, for about ten minutes, I ranted at the kitty about how Bones is not a good show at all.  I am wishy-washy about that when I’m clearheaded, but when I’m sleep-deprived and tipsy I have very definite opinions about television shows.

As an aside, the producers of Bones originally asked Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino to play the dead guy in that episode, but he said no so they got this guy named Anthony Pumilio instead who has, like, no credits on his IMDB page but 15 photos and a bunch of videos, so apparently he uses his IMDB page as his Facebook page or something.  Great.

Anyway, as you can see, I know a LOT about Anthropology, so you are lucky I can help you out with tough anthropological questions like these.

In other news, I like these:

taters precious

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Horror Movies Can Suck and That is More Than a Play on Words

I don’t want this website to become all about Jeremy Sisto, but I accidentally bought a movie with him in it yesterday (ignoring the questions about why, if I’m broke – and I am – I’m still so totally seduced by the 4 for $20 Previously Viewed section at Blockbuster) called The Thirst. It had lots of people in it, but I mainly bought it because it had Clare Kramer in it, and I loved her on Buffy.  There are spoilers in this review.  Beware.

So, the cover of the move says that it’s “Requiem for a Dream meets Near Dark.”  That is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard.  It’s got the blood spurts of Sweeny Todd, the melodrama of a Lifetime Original Movie (and not even a 2008-on one – BECAUSE THOSE ARE BETTER), the chemistry between the characters is non-existent and I found my finger itching to hit the “stop” button on the remote, but, like any horrifying situation, I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

Clare KramerClare Kramer plays Lisa, a twinkle-toed stripper who dates Maxx.  They are both former users.  Maxx thinks Lisa is using again, because she smells like throw up all the time, but we find out that she actually has some sort of cancer, and when that lady who played Faith’s new watcher in the third season of Buffy but then it turned out she just wanted that glove thing and they had to kill her shows up she can save her from dying from cancer so she turns her into a vampire.  Maxx sees Lisa at some goth club that his friends drag him to, where we meet Tom Lenk (Andrew from Buffy) in a delightful goth/sub cameo and it all goes downhill from there.

Matt KesslerMatt Kesslar plays Maxx, and while I loved him in The Middleman, I thought he was wooden and silly in this movie.

Jeremy Freaking SistoJeremy Sisto plays Darius, head of the vampire “family” and his accent ranges between a bad Russian accent to a bad southern accent.  I realize it’s on purpose to show how well-traveled and split-personalityish and everything he is, but it’s not even a good performance and it’s like he’s not even trying.  I told him about hanging out with Heather Graham…

Gwendolyn PostI don’t even know if this is the right picture.  The movie was all shady and shadowy, and she didn’t look exactly like Gwendolyn Post, so who knows?

Tom LenkTom Lenk plays Kronos.  He gets his throat ripped out.

It’s not even a fun movie.  It’s predictable and uninterestingly gory.  Lisa and Maxx go after the vampire family, kill them all, and meet the sun together in what is supposed to be a touching scene, but because of the complete lack of chemistry between the actors, it falls flat.  As does the “detox” scene earlier in the movie with its jerky camera work and crappy soundtrack.

And yay, I own this movie.

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