Things I Won’t Be Doing Today

  • Flying my mom down to Naples, FL for a full-on spa week at the Ritz
  • Buying a small airplane for my dad
  • Buying land
  • The dance of financial freedom joy
  • Donating a shit of money to the Alzhiemers Association, Heart Association, Lung Association, SPCA, and the Fan Free Clinic
  • Going shopping
  • Drinking Veuve Cliquot
  • Taking a bath in Veuve Cliquot
  • Learning to spell Veuve Cliquot
  • Paying tuition in one lump payment
  • Paying for my neice’s nursing school
  • Sending my younger cousin to military school
  • Holding a monkey
  • Getting a three-hour massage
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