Tag Archives: Search Engines


This is a letter I wrote to Google, asking them to reconsider their decision. Not because I was going to strike it rich by using this service, but because I don’t like to be “in trouble”.

My AdSense account was recently disabled. I filed an appeal, and the appeal was denied. I was told that my account “posed a significant risk” to advertisers. I simply do not understand how this can be. While my traffic has increased over the past few months, I have not solicited clicks nor have I ever purposely clicked on my own ads. I am horrified that I’ve been blackballed from a program that I have recommended to practically everyone I know. You’re talking to someone who never even got sent to the principal’s office in school – I can’t believe that I’m in trouble with Google. I respect your company so much, and felt really great that I was a part of the Blogger community and an AdSense user. I implore you – reinstate my AdSense account. I will only put one ad on my page and I will advise people who read my blog NOT to click on the ads. I’m not sure what caused this problem to begin with, but if you say there was invalid clicking I’m not inclined to argue. I don’t see what happens outside of my own home or office. I am very certain, however, that my blog is small potatoes, and that I am NO risk to advertisers. I am an aspiring writer who was just hoping to make a little bit of pocket change on this blog – just enough to offset the cost of my monthly iTunes purchases.
If you look harder at my account you will see that I am not a risk. If you would tell me exactly what kind of invalid activity you detected on my account I could work WITH you to correct it. Just cutting me off and writing me off is not the right way to go. I believe in what you’re doing and want to be a partner in all this. I thought I was a responsible account holder and am very upset that you don’t agree. I feel that my integrity has been called into question and I’m very upset by it.
I know you’re a great big company with more emails than you know what to do with. I know you’re all very busy and that I’m just one tiny person on the whole other side of the country and I don’t matter. I have always thought that Google was better than the other large corporations out there. I hope you prove me right, and all the naysayers wrong.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you respond.

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Not Quite Done

OK, I know I just wrote about this, but I’m kind of cheesed off about it. I’m not supposed to write about it, because you’re not supposed to mention your, ahem, profit-getting units, and I have nowhere to vent this frustration. My mom’s all, “Honey, I think it’s a little ridiculous that you’re so upset about this.” And I’m sort of thinking that she’s right. What does it matter? I didn’t create this space as a way to make money. I created it as a place to ramble on self-indulgently and delude myself into thinking that would be entertaining to the general public. I just liked seeing how many page impressions I got per day. So maybe they’ll let me have that back.

I can see it now.

Me: Look, I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. Whatever I’m doing wrong? I’ll stop it. Just tell me what it is.
Google: You’re lucky we even let you keep your blog, you ingrate.
Me: Do you have to call me names? I already feel bad enough.
Google: There IS no bad enough, Ms. J. You’re lucky we even let you keep your blog NAME. We technically own it. Plus, all your content. We own that too. Actually, we own YOU. That’s right. We technically bought you from the government about three months ago. We could put you out of your misery at any time. And don’t think we won’t. We’re serious.
Me: Obviously, yeah. You’re serious. Listen, can I get an allowance?

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The Scarlet Blogger

Apparently, in my attempt to profit off of my witticisms and charm, I have pissed off Google. If you visit here regularly, you may have noticed this attempt for profit, which I don’t dare call by name for fear of pissing Google off even further. Today you will notice that the “areas of effort” are blank no-man’s-lands of internet wasteland. Yes, Gentle Readers, I have filed an appeal, because I don’t feel that anything untoward happens here at NAAM, and because I know you really love to know where you can buy earwig poison.

I cried about it actually. But that’s me lately. Crying about everything. The funny thing? Even though it’s treated me like a red-headed stepchild, I still love Google. I just wish Google still loved me. *sniff*

Actually, Google probably never did love me. It’s too big. It can’t love individual people. It’s not God, after all. It can’t see into my heart and know that there is more good there than bad. Come on, guys. Don’t be so hard on it.

End rambling.

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