Monthly Archives: February 2009

Dreams

Highlights of the Eleventy Hundred Dreams I Had Last Night

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I have anywhere between 5 and a million dreams in any given night. I can usually only remember one or two but this morning is a mish-mosh so enjoy the “quick & dirty”:

1. Posh Spice informing me that her parents are making her move to Detroit, Ohio and me telling her that the shopping is really good there. Yes, I know that Detriot is in Michigan. In my dream it was in Ohio.

Note: funny enough, I think this one was because I was reading a book full of critical essays on Hemingway’s depiction of Michigan in his short stories. Random.

2. Realizing that being the Catcher In The Rye that Holden Caulfield talked about would be difficult, because it was my job to catch running toddlers finished with the limbo line and they were FAST.

Dwight mentioned that he needed to finish reading The Catcher In the Rye night before last. I guess it took my brain a day to catch up.

3. The one where I’m supposed to be playing rhythm guitar for Aerosmith, except that I don’t know how to play rhythm guitar and I have just had a big fight with all the guys in Aerosmith.

So typical. I know.

4. The shot I have to give myself for the psoriasis had a side effect of me being able to read thoughts, but only in strangers, leaving me the creepy person who picks thoughts out of the heads of strangers and not being able to keep my mouth shut about it.

?

5. I was on a huge Pathwords board and I had to crawl around and touch the letters with my forehead to make the words.

I need to take a break from Pathwords, apparently.

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Whoops

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So I was at a meeting on Friday morning, and this is what happened:

She walked me out to the lobby, shook my hand, and as I tried to suavely turn around and put my coat on at the same time I gracefully fell into and over a chair that was situated attractively if not inconveniently (for me) near the door. I don’t have the descriptive prowess to accurately describe the scene, but I will tell you that I have sore muscles from the amount of control I had to exert in order to not land on the floor. I guess it was something about the trajectory of my body in the turn, and how the chair was placed and where it hit me on my body. If I hadn’t tried – if I’d just let myself fall – I would have bounced off the chair and landed on the floor. Classy.

Of course the person I was meeting with asked if I was OK. I responded “Yes, if we can just pretend that didn’t just happen.”

Purple-faced, I told the person I was meeting with and the office manager to have a nice weekend, swallowed the half-hysterical lump in my throat, and left.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression, right?

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Failed Facebook Status Updates

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So Facebook. It’s quite a phenomenon. When you think about it, it’s kind of scary. You’re not connecting with random folks because you like their band (ala Myspace) and you’re not really finding new friends. You’re connecting with people you already know (most of the time), and you’re putting yourself out there in a really, well, public way. I mean, if I update my status to say, “Liz is crying uncontrollably”, there is going to be some fallout from putting that out there. Luckily, it’s good fallout, in the form of “Are you OK?” and “What’s wrong?”, but it’s something that your coworkers, your family members, your friends, and people you haven’t spoken to or seen in years and years are going to see.

So I guess the main point here is the Status Update, not so much Facebook itself. You can use Facebook and NOT update your status (but what fun is that, really?) and it’s not as (some people might say “exhibitionist” but I shy away from that) public as users who use the Status Upate feature. Plus, you’ve got to admit that you learn more about people who use the feature than the people who don’t. First, you learn that they are willing to be that much more open about their life and daily activities, and second, it involves you in their life in a way that you wouldn’t normally be involved. It makes you an active participant in that person’s life, at least for that moment that they chose to update their status with something like “Joe is watching The Simpsons” or “Mary thinks it’s Miller Time”. Of course, you don’t want to be TOO involved with people’s lives. Here are some situations where I think that it would be best to NOT update your status:

1. Joe is poisoning his neighbor’s Pomeranian. With arsenic. Right now.
2. Mary is getting paid to take her clothes off.
3. Joe has explosive diarrhea.
4. Mary just ate an entire quart of Ben & Jerry’s and quickly regurgitated it.
5. Joe just emailed naked pictures of his ex-fiance to her parents.
6. Mary is going to fake symptoms to get pain medicine at a Patient First.
7. Joe is laundering money.
8. Mary is telling her children that Santa Claus died because they were bad.
9. Joe is shouting at his girlfriend while putting his fist through the wall.
10. Mary just slept with her sister’s husband.

So I think what we see here is a fine line between what is appropriate for public consumption and what is beyond the pale when it comes to privacy and propriety. Also, hopefully not everyone engages in illegal activity. But if they do, we sure don’t want to hear about it, do we, Folks?