Heaven Help Us

One of the main reasons I’ve been neglecting you, Dear Blog, is because I haven’t felt like writing about what is going on at work. I’ve delayed the inevitable as long as possible, and it looks like I could lose my job at any possible moment. Yes, my time at the venerable institution is coming to an end. It could happen Monday, it could happen after Christmas, it could happen at the end of January. It’s coming, and I’m stressed, scared, and generally totally depressed.

http://www.timesdispatch.com/rtd/business/local/article/LAND17_20081216-213244/153129/

http://www.inman.com/news/2008/12/17/fidelity-closes-in-landamerica-deal

This deal could mean that many of my co-workers in the field could keep their jobs, so I’m in favor of it, but I don’t know how it will affect me and the other workers at the company “headquarters”. I guess this is one of those times where I wish I could support myself, husband, and cat with my meager blogging and sheer hope alone. The economy is bad and there are few jobs out there. And for every job out there exists hundreds of qualified applicants.

How does this affect me personally? Well, for one, I am not sure we can afford for me to go to school next semester. Which means that after a lackluster academic start in 1995, a failure and cry of “uncle” in 1999, finally going back and taking night classes (starting in Spring 2007) while working full time and maintaining a 3.83 average (12 classes – 10 A’s, 2 B’s) I might have gotten to my last 3 classes and have to stop. It’s infuriating, and I’m so discouraged that I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like it would be selfish of me to try to allocate the meager funds we’ll have to my sizeable tuition when we could be, I don’t know, paying rent? Paying off debt? The possibility of finding something that would pay enough, be flexible to let me take a 4:00 class on Mondays and Wednesdays, and that would be easy enough for me to get the hang of without concentrating 100% is darn near impossible. I try to have a que sera sera kind of attitude, but I’m pretty down in the dumps right now.

So. Cherry holiday blog? No. That means I HAVE to blog tomorrow, to make up for it.

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