Right now, at this moment, the cat’s head is brushing against my arm. I look down to find out what she’s doing. Yep. She’s, ahem, cleaning her butt. Not just the fur around her butt, but her actual kitty sphincter, banana-slice, whatever. I yell at her, “Kitty! Ew!” and she looks up at me, tongue sticking out, like, “What? It’s not going to clean itself, you know.” I push her away from me, because she should really do that where she’s NOT TOUCHING ME. She shook her head, licked her cat lips, and moved back to my side, where she started to dig right back in. I physically picked her up and placed her on the floor, where I can’t hear that slurping sound.

You’re welcome.