The Despair Song of F. Lostanlonely Fumblebock

In English class tonight (one of the three I’m taking) we were supposed to discuss “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”. There wasn’t enough time to get into it well enough, and I got the distinct impression that my professor didn’t like it near as much as he liked the Auden poem we discussed before it.

I love the poem, and felt really unsatisfied by tonight’s discussion because while I love the poem I’ve never been in a classroom setting the discussed the poem. Because I feel so unfulfilled, I decided to read up on it after I did my writing class’s assignmnt. If this thing shows my other blogs, you can check it out. It’s vitalitywellness.blogspot.com. We did a pretty rocking job, I must say. That would be one heck of a gym. I’d join.

I digress. Back to T.S. Eliot. We did discuss the name J. Alfred Prufrock in class. As it turns out, Eliot wanted the name to be a combination of the words “prude” and “frock” and the original name of the poem was “Prufrock Among The Women”. Eliot started writing it when he was in college, but published it several years later. Interestingly, he signed the poem “T. Stearnes Eliot”, which would lead you to believe that the fears and insecurities that the title character feels mirror Eliot’s. Eliot did not approve of poets who wrote poems about themselves, so he made Prufrock an older, middle-aged man and dramatized the narrative. I feel like that didn’t take all the Eliot out of the Prufrock, but he might not have agreed.

Yes, Eliot was kind of Pound-ish in his pretensions, but I really enjoy his work and even though this part of the class is over I will definitely continue to learn more on my own. That’s what learning’s all about, I suppose.

As a side note

I think I figured out what caused this illness. At first (because of my internet reading) I thought it was because I liked to drink wine, or because my triglycerides are kind of high. Not so. Turns out my wine consumption was not enough to spark this, nor was my triglyceride level. They said “sometimes we never know why someone gets pancreatitis” but I didn’t like that. I like for questions to have answers. I did a little more reading, and three sources confirmed that acute pancreatitis can come about because of trauma to the abdomen. Like a car accident. Now, I haven’t been in a car accident lately (knock on wood), but the other day at work I was pushing this cart around and I accidentally ran it into a wall, thus shoving the push bar of the cart directly into the left side of my abdomen. Hard. It hurt so bad, in fact, that my knees momentarily gave out and I had to grab onto the cart to keep my balance. I bet that’s what it was. Stupid cart.

Still Sicky

As it turns out, pancreatitis is not as easy to get over as I anticipated. The internet said 2-3 days, the ER doctor said 2-3 WEEKS, and my PCP said 1 week. So I don’t know what to think. Literally, since they’ve got me on so many meds that I can’t see straight. I will hopefully see a specialist soon, who will hopefully take me off the crazy barrage of medicines.

In the meantime I am missing work, which I HATE to do, mainly because it puts me behind and secondarily because I’m scared it makes me look bad and will/may get me in trouble. Because I’m paranoid like that.

I am behind on schoolwork already, even though I had yesterday and today to do it (and technically the parts of Thursday and Friday that I didn’t work from home) but have been wonked out by medicine so unable. That means I have a 1/2 book to read, a 3-5 pager, a written transcription of the poem that the 3-5 pager is on, a 1 pager, a simulated resume for Business Writing, and a 2 pager all due by Tuesday. I hope I’m feeling better tomorrow night, since I only managed to get the first 1/2 of the book, the online response for said first 1/2 of book and the preliminary thinking for the 3-5 pager done so far tonight, and it’s almost time for the green pill, which takes me to lala land. I might be getting a doctor’s note to get extensions on some of these things.

All in all, sickness plus the stress is not haappy time for me. Sorry for the crappy blog.