Tag Archives: Work

A Fictional Poem (Mostly Fictional)

I threw my pen at work today
I don’t know why I did
I threw my pen at work today
Just like some stupid kid

I threw it right across the room
It bounced of Will’s forehead
The conference room felt like a tomb
I wished that I was dead

They looked at me amazed – aghast
I blushed a deep, dark red
My cheeks felt broiled, or grilled, or braised
My hands flew to hide my head

I ran from the meeting
No one said a word
Will rubbed the ink off, seething
And flipped me quite the bird

I shouldn’t have done it, of course I shouldn’t
I can’t  believe I did it
I threw the pen, restraint just couldn’t
Stop me when the urge hit

I was so ashamed, and filled with gloom
I didn’t need reproach, or blame
When I threw that pen across the room
And cried and wailed in shame

The moral of the story is to
(I ruefully confess)
Watch yourself and what you do
And stay home with PMS

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*$#)@&!!!! (or why I'm going to flunk out of school and get fired from my job)

So we received  a notice week before last that S & N Contractors would be here “upgrading” the fiber optic network in Henrico County.  It was a notice, not a request.  They said they’d be digging on county easement that was “on or off private property.”  I thought for sure that couldn’t mean that they would be digging in my yard.  Wrong.  As it turns out, any private property within 8-10 inches of a county road is considered “easement” property – meaning that the county can come dig up your darn yard any old time they want to.  So they’ve dug three large holes in my front yard (and to be fair, the front yards of my neighbors) in order to “upgrade” this fiber optic network.  I’m all about improving technology, but come on, guys.

Somebody asked us, “Well, are you getting Verizon Fios?”  Thing is, we already have it.  It’s been working just fine.  So I need to be patient and understanding that with this new, “upgraded” fiber optic network things will be better for more people.  That’s great.

But here’s the thing, Folks.  I work from home.  I am in graduate school.  My office (on the front of the house, facing the front yard) is my high-productivity place of awesomeness.  So how am I supposed to be awesome with this going on outside my house?

Picture 185
And this is the infernal noise it makes.

Dreadful.  As a result, I’m unable to get any reading or writing done.  And yes, I did try going to a different part of the house.  No better.  The dining room is on the same level as the noisy drill, and the family room is underground, so the whole room is shaking like a dog pooping razor blades.   I hope it doesn’t hurt the large TV.

So, since I luckily have some work to do that does not require my whole brain, I’m submitting articles (and of course one of the article submission sites is being an utter pain in the patookis) and watching horror movies on my office DVD player.  The kitty is hanging right in here with me, curled up in the circle chair in my office.

I started with the original Halloween, which is (as far as I’m concerned) one of the most awesome horror movies of all time.  It has the right amount of terror, a strong heroine, and a horrifying bad guy.  Halloween II was next, which gives us a little background on Michael Myers, and shows us that he is, in fact, invincible and evil.  Invincibly evil.  Evilly invincible.  Is fantastic.  My favorite parts are when Laurie’s wanna-be boyfriend finds the nurse that Michael Myers had drained all the blood out of, and he totally does a slapstick-type slip up and lands flat on his back in all the blood, and when Michael gets shot in the head and the blood runs into his eyes, making it so that he can’t see and therefore just swipes blindly at Dr. Loomis with the knife.  I know.  I’m a weirdo.

I skipped Halloween III, because it’s completely unrelated, and I don’t have IV, V, or VI, so I skipped straight to Halloween H20:  20 Years Later, because it pretends that those other ones never happened, either.

I haven’t seen the Rob Zombie remakes.  If someone wants to send them to me for free I’ll review them.  Otherwise I have to wait until they cost less than $20 each.  My horror budget is depleted.  I also bought Nightmare on Elm Street I, II, III, and IV all in the same little package.  I don’t like those as much as the Halloween movies, but the third one is quite fun.

More about that later.  Back to the work I can accomplish with this infuriating noise going on, and when they finally stop maybe I can get some copy written and some schoolwork done.  Or, I might have beat my head against the wall until I’m blissfully unconscious by then.

I Write, You Know

So, what’s new with me? What? Nobody asked? Don’t care. I’m going to tell you anyway.

I have an awesome part time job writing for a fantastic SEO Company full of terribly nice people. Among other things, I write a blog about Richmond that talks about the best of the city and highlights certain things and people and places. It’s www.richmondvapresents.com and I would love it if you’d visit it let me know what you think. Also, if you’re a Richmonder and have a business or thing (not THAT thing, you perv) you’d like me to write about, I’ll consider it. 🙂

I am in graduate school and beating my head against a wall for taking three (3) THREE literature-intensive classes this semester. The reading alone is enough to blind you, and on top of that you’re expected to be able to form cohesive thoughts and scholarly opinions about things. Don’t let me fool you – I love it, but I’m totally overwhelmed and freaking out.

Those are the two main things going on in my life other than The Hubs, The Rents, The Cat, The Dog, and The House, which are all doing pretty good and say hi, Internet.

Off to the weekend, which will not feel like a weekend at all because I have to do a ton of work and write a paper, prepare a presentation, and read practically everything Oscar Wilde ever wrote. But it will be fun, so who needs a weekend?