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Random Thoughts

A Fictional Poem (Mostly Fictional)

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I threw my pen at work today
I don’t know why I did
I threw my pen at work today
Just like some stupid kid

I threw it right across the room
It bounced of Will’s forehead
The conference room felt like a tomb
I wished that I was dead

They looked at me amazed – aghast
I blushed a deep, dark red
My cheeks felt broiled, or grilled, or braised
My hands flew to hide my head

I ran from the meeting
No one said a word
Will rubbed the ink off, seething
And flipped me quite the bird

I shouldn’t have done it, of course I shouldn’t
I can’t  believe I did it
I threw the pen, restraint just couldn’t
Stop me when the urge hit

I was so ashamed, and filled with gloom
I didn’t need reproach, or blame
When I threw that pen across the room
And cried and wailed in shame

The moral of the story is to
(I ruefully confess)
Watch yourself and what you do
And stay home with PMS

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Blogging, House, I Saw it on the Interwebs

I Resent Sanctimonious So-And-Sos

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I also hate assholes. They’ve finally arrested Drew Peterson for something – though it has nothing to do with the disapperance of his latest wife, it’s still something. The murder of his third wife, to be precise, and according to msn as he got the cuffs slapped on him he said “I guess I should have turned in those library books.” Plus, his mugshot is totally smarmy and makes me want to kick him in the face repeatedly with steel-toed shoes covered in bat excrement. Read all about it here, and get your “shitkickers” ready.

On a much smaller scale, I also take issue with Jack Goes Forth, wherein he went ahead and said that there were no interesting Richmond-based bloggers. Now, I don’t criticize him for writing about his drunken sexual escapades, yet I take issue with him making a broad, sweeping statement about Richmond-based bloggers. Has he read every single Richmond-based blogger? I doubt it. Get off your high-horse, Drunk Boy. But I still read your blog every day.

Here is a list of things that are pissing me off today:

The transformer on the power line that feeds electricity into my house went BOOM today and Dominion has no way of actually speaking to a live human being. I called to report the outage on the “Automated Reporting Line Thingy” and they have a button you can press if you want to report further information than your lights just being out. I hit the button, and the first option was “If you heard an explosion, press one.” That’s crazy to me. Because instead of transferring you to someone right away because you heard AN EXPLOSION, the automated lady says “Thanks for your call, your problem has been reported.” Hello? EXPLOSION, people. Don’t you want to make sure no birds or pets were harmed in your crappy-ass transformer rendering the power line that dips waaayyy too low into my backyard for my comfort unusable? They are supposed to call me when it’s fixed. It’s not yet, and I fear for the turkey sausages and coffee creamer in my fridge.

Actually, that’s got me so pissed off that I can’t think of anything else to report.

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