This is a spider that was hanging out in the basement.
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It would be much spookier, I realize, if I had a picture of the ginormous Black Widow spider that Jeff slew for me the other week, but I didn’t have my wits about me and therefore did not think to run upstairs before Jeff smooshed the poisonous spider. “Hang on! Let’s take the chance that it will spring onto both of us and bite us in the eyes because it’s very important that I photograph this spider.” No.
Dwight was on the manly canoe trip, so I called my dad and he rushed to my aid in the case of the spider pictured here. He put it and it’s two sacs of babies in a jar and took them away. No doubt to breed them for world domination. Just kidding. He eats them. No! I’m just kidding. He knows me well enough to know that even if he killed it and put it in the trash I would manage to convince myself later that it wasn’t really dead and that it would come at me for vengence. Or that if he flushed it that it would somehow hang out in the U-Bend and come up and bite me in the ass when I take a pee.
I never had a problem with bugs, but now I do. Earwigs, spiders, these little bright red bugs that look kind of like lightning bugs but don’t have wings are in residence, when previously all I had to worry about was roaches and cave crickets. Luckily, we’ve only seen one roach here every, but the cave crickets get upstairs once in a while. I’m always relieved that it is a cricket instead of a spider.
Well I’ve wussed out on you enough for one day. Back to homework.
It has secret agent mystery puzzles in it, which was perfect because when I was younger I wanted to be a private detective. I mean, from the time I was 2 to the time i was 15. A long time. I’ll post pictures sometime of the detective agencies my dad used to build me out of the wardrobe boxes every time we moved. Anyway…back to these Mr. Mystery books, you have to use the “answer pen”, which reacts with the invisible inky things inside the book. This is what the pen looks like:
I won’t spoil for you the magic of the pen on the paper. That, and it’s pretty hard to photograph. But the mysteries are totally worth your time. Get you to a Cracker Barrel and get yourself a Mr. Mystery game. For “Hours and Hours of ‘By Yourself Enjoyment'”. Worked out for me pretty well…being an only child that moved every few years. Oh yeah. Poor me.